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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744836">(I Was Alive) The Day I Died</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/innocent_until_proven_geeky/pseuds/innocent_until_proven_geeky'>innocent_until_proven_geeky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst without a happy ending, M/M, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Warning for Mentions of Suicidal Ideation, it's not obvious i think but it's there, no happy ending, this is the darkest of my stories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:21:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/innocent_until_proven_geeky/pseuds/innocent_until_proven_geeky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is no happy ending to this story.</p>
<p>They can grieve together, and that is enough.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody &amp; CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; CT-7567 | Rex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(I Was Alive) The Day I Died</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><strong>WARNING:</strong> Although I believe it is well-hidden/disguised, per se, and it is only discussed once, there is mention of suicidal ideation.  This and this alone is also why I rated this as "Mature" and not my usual "G" or even "T".  I really want y'all to be safe, and this may be excessive but I'd rather go overboard and avoid hurting you than not do enough and have someone get hurt.  If you want to read this, but are worried you may be triggered, send it to a friend to check it out for you.  (That's what I do with a lot of fics that have potentially triggering content for me.)  You can tell them how much will be triggering, and have them decide for you whether it's a good idea to read it or not, or you can have them tell you where to start and stop reading.  Please, please, please be safe.</p>
<p>Title is from <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/1FeWe12hEVRygK4tybdyq3?si=dnCZGIfbTty7oBOeqHL8dw">"The Day I Died"</a> by Five for Fighting.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is no happy ending to this story.</p>
<p>I wish I could tell you there was; only, not every story can have a happy ending.  I don’t know why, though I can guess.  But now is not the time to wax philosophical.  Now is a time to talk about Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p>
<p>This is not the end to Obi-Wan Kenobi’s story; no, this is the end to someone else’s story, but Obi-Wan Kenobi suffers for it.  Sometimes, he believes he is made for suffering.</p>
<p>It begins with hope, as many sad endings do.</p>
<p>It begins with hope, because Obi-Wan and five of his men had been trapped on Saleucami, pinned down with communications jammed by Grievous’s forces.  They were sure they were going to die, that no one would know anything was even wrong until it was too late.</p>
<p>As Wooley, Boil, Waxer, and Crys slept, Obi-Wan found his arms wrapped around Cody, comforting each other on what they were sure would be the last night of their lives.</p>
<p>A few hundred kilometers away, in orbit, Kit Fisto contacted <em>Negotiator</em>, and <em>Negotiator</em> contacted Obi-Wan, and when the men on the bridge couldn’t reach their beloved General, they ordered reinforcements sent to his last known location.</p>
<p>And that is how the story begins: with hope.  Hope that Obi-Wan and Wooley and Crys and Waxer and Boil and Cody will not die, that the campaign will not be for nothing.</p>
<p>But getting out of a sticky situation sometimes involves getting more stuck.</p>
<p>Battle rages, and Obi-Wan Kenobi stands by his Commander, lightsaber ablaze.  “Amazing how quickly just a few gunships can turn the tide,” he says over the din, a little smile on his lips, because he is alive and twelve hours ago he thought he wouldn’t make it even this long.</p>
<p>“Don’t get too cocky, General,” Cody teases, but he is subdued, which Obi-Wan attributes to exhaustion.  “Wouldn’t want to have to save your skin more times than Rex has saved Skywalker’s, would I?”</p>
<p>“Certainly not,” Obi-Wan agrees.</p>
<p>They move together, at times almost back-to-back, covering each other.</p>
<p>And then the Separatist cannons fire, heavy artillery, loud and dangerous and solid.</p>
<p>They lose a lot of men quickly, and it almost feels as if they’re going to end up right back where they started.</p>
<p>Cody swings around to put himself between the artillery and his Jedi.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan immediately moves to stop him.</p>
<p>“No!” Cody barks, in a voice much too harsh for him.  “I’m here to protect you, sir.”</p>
<p>“You will not throw away your life for me, Commander,” Obi-Wan replies, suddenly steely.</p>
<p>“You don’t get to decide that for me, General,” Cody says, almost growls, and never once does Obi-Wan feel afraid of him, because although he can feel something fierce and red-hot radiating off the man, he knows it is <em>for</em> him, not <em>at</em> him.</p>
<p>“Even if I order you?” Obi-Wan tries to tease, but it has power because it is rare for Obi-Wan Kenobi to give an order--he does this only when he is truly afraid for the well-being of his men.</p>
<p>It happens then, before even the Jedi knows it’s happening.  There will be times, later, when Obi-Wan wonders if the clones are in some way Force-sensitive, if that may be enhanced on the battlefield.  Now, though, he wonders nothing; Cody turns toward him and throws himself, tackling Obi-Wan in a mess of plastoid armor and functionally useless Jedi robe, and cups his hand behind Obi-Wan’s head to protect the man from the rocky ground below them.</p>
<p>:::</p>
<p>It is three weeks before Obi-Wan wakes up, but he does not know this at the time.  He knows pain, and anxiety at the forefront of his mind, and he immediately reaches to where that solid rock, his commander and his friend and his love, should be in Obi-Wan’s map of the Force, and finds nothing.  The further he reaches, the more anxious Obi-Wan becomes, until he is no longer anxious.</p>
<p>He feels the ghost of a hand protecting his head and a body over his own, hears the whispered words, “I love you. <em> K’oyacyi</em>, Obi-Wan.”</p>
<p>And he knows, without a doubt, and it hurts more than any physical pain he could possibly experience.</p>
<p>He pulls himself to complete consciousness and opens his eyes to near-darkness.</p>
<p>There is someone on the chair next to his bed, and he turns his head only slightly to look.  They’re a clone, he knows, although he can’t make out the markings on their armor or the color in this lighting.  They aren’t wearing the top half of their armor, anyway.  Their head is pressed against their fist, and they’re dozing, clearly waiting for Obi-Wan to awaken.  His eyes travel still further up to the top of their head, and he knows that haircut.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Rex,” he says, and his voice comes out hoarse.</p>
<p>Rex does not jump, but he does wake up suddenly.  Immediately, he goes to console Obi-Wan: “It’s not your fault, sir.”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan looks away, brushing it off.  “When?” he asks by way of response.</p>
<p>Rex swallows, and Obi-Wan can feel the lump in Rex’s throat as if it is his own.  “On impact, sir.  He couldn’t--he didn’t--”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to say, because he knows how Rex feels, except that he <em>doesn’t</em>.  “I’m so sorry,” he tries again.</p>
<p>Rex steels himself, and there’s something--there’s something wrong, he thinks, with the way Rex gets all stiff.  “I think,” the younger man says, voice soft, unmatching to his behavior, “that he was ready.”  He pauses.  “You understand?”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan has little to say to that.</p>
<p>“He loved you, anyway.  You could never have stopped him from protecting you.”</p>
<p>Obi-Wan doesn’t say he tried, because he feels like that would only come across as an excuse, and his voice feels too weak to hold the weight of his feelings anyway.</p>
<p>“I just thought I’d be here to let you know,” Rex says, and stands to leave, but Obi-Wan stops him.</p>
<p>Rex seems to know exactly what Obi-Wan is asking of him, because he nods, and climbs awkwardly into the medbay bed.</p>
<p>It is not Cody, they both think.  It is not Cody, and it will never again be Cody, and something in each of them wrenches, but they both loved Cody, and they can grieve together, and for now, that is enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!  If you enjoyed, please feel free to check out my writing tumblr at <a href="www.tumblr.com/blog/ver-writes-things">Ver Writes Things</a>!  I would love to get some requests, prompts, and other ideas over there.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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